Ranking Audrey Hepburn's Love Interests

Happy 92nd Birthday to Audrey Hepburn!

Since she's a sort-of queen of romantic comedies from Hollywood's golden era, today, let's celebrate that status by ranking all of her love interests (by character, not by actor...in most cases)!

Joe Bradley, Roman Holiday

Joe Bradley totally planned on selling out Ann for the scoop of a lifetime, but he fell in love over the course of the day and realized that love was worth more than any byline ever could be. Theirs isn't a totally happy ending, but the love is there, and the chemistry between Audrey and Gregory Peck is fire. You can tell that they were totally found of each other (in real life they remained lifelong friends). 

Simon Dermott, How to Steal a Million

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Will rob a priceless (okay, not priceless) artifact from a museum for you and come up with an ingenious way of doing it. Totally charming, totally handsome, and those blue eyes? Hello! Of course Simon made it so high on this list! 

Paul Varjak, Breakfast at Tiffany's

Paul loved Holly before she ever knew what love felt like; and he helped her realize that it's okay to admit that you need people and want to lay down roots somewhere. Plus, he's supportive of her (though he may not always agree with her choices) and lets her make her own decisions until that last-minute confession in the rain. Their kiss as the end music begins is so tender.  

Mark Wallace, Two for the Road

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They love each other and they hate each other but they always find the road back towards each other, and that's what makes Mark Wallace dreamy, in my opinion. It's also the most realistic portrayal of a love story out of all of Audrey's films; the others are fairytales compared to Two for the Road, but for my money, this is Audrey's best performance. 

Peter Joshua, Charade

Continually lies about identity, is also Cary Grant. The scales tip whichever way you want. 

Richard Benson, Paris When It Sizzles

I'm surprised Gabrielle could dry him out long enough to love him. Paris When It Sizzles is by no means great, but at least there's undeniable chemistry between Audrey and William Holden. 

Dick Avery, Funny Face

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Dick's a tornado coming straight for Jo: he takes over her bookstore for a photoshoot, does nothing to help her when she's adamant she doesn't want to be a cover model, then makes fun of all of her interests when she finally gets to her dream city of Paris. But he can dance (cause he's Fred Astaire) and he does come around in the end, so he's not ranked at the very bottom. 

Frank Flannagan, Love in the Afternoon

Far, far, far too old. Like, noticeably so. Like, 'Why are you flirting with a woman so young?' old. Gary Cooper's the only one who really takes me out of the movie when I'm watching it; it's such a mismatch. 

Linus Larrabee, Sabrina

Old and crotchety and a total stick-in-the-mud. It's hard to see what Sabrina saw in Linus, but when your wardrobe looks that chic... I'll allow it. 

Who's your favourite of Audrey's love interests? Let me know in the comments!