Greatest Hits

Obviously I'd love it if you read the entire archive, but if you're here for a good time not a long time, here are some of my favourite posts on Box Office Poisons.

2023:

Queen Yllana and the Camp of Queen of Outer Space (Blogathon and the Beast)

Here's what you need to know about Queen Yllana: she has a complete face mask with eye slots and a mouth hole and whispy, sparkly pieces of metal that flow from the top of her mask like a crown. When she meets the astronauts, she says that she is "ruler of the city of Kadir and queen of this world," and that they all speak perfect English because they've studied the electronic waves from Earth for years. 

Paula Prentiss and Richard Benjamin: 62 Years and Counting

They were married on this day in 1961 and they’re still going strong 62 years later. And today, we’re looking at this couple through the lens of a September 1962 Photoplay article Benjamin wrote (read: gave an ‘as told to’ interview to Jane Ardmore) about his wife of one year.

Helene Stanley, The Original Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty

Although she didn’t provide Cinderella’s voice, a lot of Helene’s movements and expressions worked their way into Cinderella’s ultimate design. She was also the costume and hairstyle model for Cinderella, and photos exist of her with the princess updo to help the animators with the styling.

The Agony Aunties of Old Hollywood

Some of the questions Bette answered in her column are just… they should have inspired movies or radio serials, honestly. Or teenage melodramas, since so many teenagers wanted Bette’s advice on love and dating—and their teenage, wartime marriages…

Marge Champion, The Original Snow White: Disney 100 Blogathon

Am I overstating things by saying that there would be no Snow White without her? Probably, because Disney would’ve just hired another dancer; but you can’t talk about what a success it was, what an innovation it was, animation-wise, without thanking Marge Champion. So in a way, the everlasting success of Walt Disney Animation Studios wouldn’t be what it is without her.

Princess Grace and Princess Diana

In the late '50s, Grace Kelly left Hollywood to become the Princess of Monaco and held the world captive with her style and glamour for 25 years until another young, glamorous woman arrived on the scene. 

Ginger Rogers and Her Love of Ice Cream

Has anyone ever loved ice cream as much as Ginger Rogers did? I doubt it. The woman had a fully-functioning soda fountain in her house and encouraged guests to try out their soda jerk fantasies.

Save TCM

From then on, I was hooked. Any chance I got, I was watching TCM. I subscribed to the 'Now Playing' magazine each month (and refuse to throw them out!); I would fill my day planner each month when the new schedule came out, marking down interesting titles or scouring the filmographies of actors and actresses I wanted to see more of so I could make my plans. Whenever I moved, be it from childhood home to college apartments, to now my settled apartment, I made sure I could get TCM. I watch it all the time, and even when I'm not actively watching television, sometimes I just leave my TV on and let it play in the background.

How to Have an Esther Williams Summer

Let's all bask in the sun, enjoy the fun ahead, and look forward to Summer Under the Stars in a few weeks' time. I'm here today with a few tips on how you can enjoy your summer using the Queen of Summer, Esther Williams, as a guide. 

Let's All Go to the Commissary

The studio commissary was often the most happening place on the lot: everyone ate there. The directors, the contract players, the stars, the writers, the technical crew, even the studio big-wigs—granted, they were insulated against just anyone showing up to eat.

The Sinatra Swooners

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Rockford Peach.

Don’t mistake me: I didn’t want to play baseball for the local team (though I did for a spell between elementary school and junior high, playing catcher, like Dottie Hinson, because I was the only one who dared to squat in front of a ball one day at practice).

Why Down With Love is a Modern Classic

Let me set the scene for you: it's 2003. Moulin Rouge! and Chicago have both been released to general acclaim. 15-year-old Jess is capital-O Obsessed with both of them. I rented Chicago so frequently, and so continually, that when they finally had a copy for sale they teased me when I bought it.

The Official Grace Kelly Fan Club

To become a member of the Grace Kelly Fan Club, you paid $1 a year in dues and you were issued an official Kelly green card that was valid for the year. You’d also get copies of the Grace Kelly Journal and bulletins about breaking news in Grace’s life—like her engagement to Prince Rainier.

She's Got Bette Davis Eyes

In her 1987 autobiography, This ‘N That, Bette wrote about her eponymous hit song: “During the spring of 1981, I was constantly being asked if I had heard the song ‘Bette Davis Eyes’ performed by Kim Carnes, and on its way to becoming the runaway hit of the year. My grandson Ashley thought it was a riot that a song about his grandmother’s eyes had, for many weeks, been the number-one hit on the rock-and-roll charts. His grandmother agreed with him. It was a riot.”

How to Have an Audrey Hepburn Spring

Wherever you are in the world, I hope the snow's finally gone, the flowers are about to bloom, and the next few months are sunny and springlike! I'm here today with a few tips on how you can enjoy your spring using Audrey Hepburn (who gives off serious spring vibes) as a guide.

Here are 9 rules you must abide to have an Audrey Hepburn spring.

Joanne Woodward’s Hollywood First

To celebrate this trailblazing legend, I want to focus on a myth that's sprung up about her that I absolutely love, even if the powers that be say it's not entirely true. That myth is that Joanne Woodward was the first person to be honoured with a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Kim Novak & Lavender – The Kim Novak Blogathon

A lot of Hollywood is built upon gimmicks—sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t—and when Kim Novak lighted upon Hollywood, her gimmick became her hair and its lavender tint.

JUPITER’S DARLING is a Bad Movie…But You Should Still Watch It

Sixty-eight years ago today, we were gifted this glorious bomb of a movie, Jupiter's Darling: the only Esther Williams aquamusical that ever lost money for MGM. It's so bad, it's good. 

I Have an Exciting Announcement

My debut novel, The Majestic Sisters, will be published in the fall of 2024 by Vagrant Press, a print of Nimbus Publishing! 

2022:

Elizabeth Taylor’s Legendary Appearances on The Simpsons

I want to talk about the unique role Elizabeth plays in the show's history. She has two separate cameos, both as herself, a grand dame of Old Hollywood, and as Maggie Simpson, having provided the voice to the youngest Simpson in a highly-touted season four episode "Lisa's First Word."

When the Princesses Came to Play

In one of my favourite stories that doesn’t involve Monaco, three princesses from Scandinavia came to Hollywood in 1960 to promote a new airline and lived it up. It almost sounds like the premise of a very chic, very stylish mid-century musical but I promise it’s a real story.

Why I Want to be a Claudette Colbert Character

Because nobody loves life quite as much as a Claudette Colbert character in a screwball comedy. I think I could match this energy if given the chance, honestly. I'm brassy. I'm glamorous. I'm ready to risk it all on a whim and find love in the convoluted process. 

How’d You Like Them Apples? A History of the Sour Apple Award

In the first year it was awarded—in 1941, to Ginger Roger and Fred Astaire—Ginger said, “I have nothing to say, except that I seem to be listed among some nice people.” Fred, meanwhile, said, “They should have respect for my age.” Jean Arthur, who won the next year, never mentioned it at all, in her characteristic Jean Arthur way.

Happy ‘Trails’ to Esther Williams

Ready to hear the story of how Esther Williams wasn’t just one of MGM’s biggest stars in the ‘40s and ‘50s, she was also something of a ‘mermaid tycoon’ off-screen? This blog post, which is part of the Third Annual Esther Williams Blogathon hosted by Love Letters to Old Hollywood, is all about Esther & Ben Gage’s The Trails!

I Don’t Believe That WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT is a Real Movie

In the year of Our Lord 2022, why is it impossible to find Where Were You When the Lights Went Out? 

What are they hiding? 

Just how bad is this movie? I don't know much about it, but I know that Doris called it one of her worst and the critics seemed to agree.

(Ed note: I published this on June 24, 2022. In November 2022, I found this online and watched it. It lived up to its reputation.)

Movies I Wish I Could Watch Again for the First Time

Do you ever look at your list of favourite movies and think to yourself, 'Man, I wish I could experience watching this for the first time all over again?' It's been on my mind lately, so I thought I'd make a list.

Why I Want to Go on a Cruise but Only If It’s the Cruise from ROMANCE ON THE HIGH SEAS

Listen, I love the idea of going on a cruise. It looks relaxing, like being on a palace at sea, but I also fear and respect the water, and I've seen Titanic, so it's also like, at what cost? Is there a hot guy in steerage waiting for me if I book the next cruise ship I can get on? 

But as I was ruminating a topic for the Classic Movie Blog Association's Spring Blogathon, it hit me: I really would only want to go on a cruise if it's the cruise from Romance on the High Seas. 

I Met Him in Paris…Or Was it Sun Valley?

This was the first Hollywood movie shot at Sun Valley, though Sun Valley Serenade, the Sonja Henie-starring escapade is often cited as the more famous film showcasing the winter perfection. Claudette Colbert and her husband, Dr. Norman Foster, would continue to vacation there every winter, with Claudette becoming one of Hollywood's best skiiers. 

2021:

It’s EASY TO LOVE Cypress Gardens

Easy to Love was Esther's second film shot at Cypress Gardens; the first was On an Island With You. But this would prove to be the bigger spectacle. Here's the basic premise: Esther Williams plays Julie, a star swimmer at Cypress Gardens, and she's hopelessly in love with her boss, Ray, who is so overworked and micromanaging that he doesn't notice. She then enlists the help of two other men to make him jealous, and like Esther says in her must-read autobiography, "If you can't guess how this comes out, you haven't been paying attention." 

All Hail Aunt Albertina — GIDGET GOES TO ROME

The first time we meet Aunt Albertina Blyth, she's shushing her two tiny dogs, Howard and Ethel, and telling them if they're not quiet, she'll cut them out of her will. She's already an icon to me. 

Inside Kim Novak’s Apartment (BOYS’ NIGHT OUT)

Want to move to New York and live in a hip apartment? Or move to the suburbs and live in a neat mid-century house? Then Boys' Night Out is the movie for you!

Ranking the Husbands in WHAT A WAY TO GO!

I present a totally scientific, not at all subjective, ranking of all of Louisa's husbands based on scientific reasoning and definitely not my own personal preferences. Let's dive in!

2020:

Inside Doris Day’s PILLOW TALK Apartment

Our first glimpse of Jan's apartment is her bedroom. It's remarkably...beige and boring compared to the rest of her apartment, but it's all tastefully put together. I love the fabric-covered headboard, and the nightstands with pineapple-style motifs. 

Scorpio Season: Grace Kelly

Grace was so obsessed with astrology that she always read her horoscope and she had her birth chart drafted to better understand her life and the role that the stars played in her life's trajectory. She reported trusted astrology so much that she entrusted it to figure out friendships and romance as well. 

Bonjour Paris! Traveling Through Audrey Hepburn’s Paris

Today I'm dreaming about travelling around Audrey Hepburn's version of Paris. Since we can't go anywhere, how about a virtual tour of her Parisian-set movies and the filming locations therein? 

Inside Paradise (BACHELOR IN PARADISE)

I love mid-century modern architecture and decor (I have so many glasses and tumblrs and kitchenware accessories from that time period). My dream house would be a ranch-style mid-century modern home just like Lana Turner's in this film.

“I Have My Own Theory About the Fall of France” – THE MAJOR AND THE MINOR

The Major and the Minor is a lighthearted comedy masterpiece. It's Ginger Rogers at her comedienne best. It's Billy Wilder's directorial debut. It's perfectly charming and light. And it would absolutely not get made today under any circumstances.

And the Oscar Goes to…[Princess] Grace Kelly!

It’s hard to hold you to a contract when you’re always threatening to retire if you don’t get your way. And when you have the money that Grace did, not only from her modelling days, but from her Kelly trust fund, you have something in addition to that temerity to back you up.

Enter: The Country Girl.