How to Have an Esther Williams Summer

Happy Summer!

Let's all bask in the sun, enjoy the fun ahead, and look forward to Summer Under the Stars in a few weeks' time. I'm here today with a few tips on how you can enjoy your summer using the Queen of Summer, Esther Williams, as a guide. 

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Here are 10 rules you must abide if you want to have an Esther Williams summer.

Rule 1: Lounge by a Pool

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Of course this is the first rule, what did you expect? If you can swim, put your skills to use in the local swimming hole. If you can dive and choreograph your own intricate water ballets and look stellar doing it, even better. 

Rule 2: Find Your Local Van Johnson

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He can likely be found conducting an orchestra (Duchess of Idaho), returning from war as a hero (Thrill of a Romance), marrying heiresses to catch them in libelous situations (Easy to Wed), running Cyprus Gardens aquacade shows (Easy to Love), or receiving fighter pilot training from a guardian angel (A Guy Named Joe).

Rule 3: Engage in a Little Misunderstanding

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Perhaps you think your affianced is secretly married to a showgirl with three children he never told you about (Bathing Beauty); or maybe you think your sister is in love with him and you're trying to let him (and yourself) down gently (Neptune's Daughter). 

Maybe you're trying to trick your best friend's boss into falling in love with her and the guy you're seeing thinks he's being led on (Duchess of Idaho); or maybe that handsome singing cowboy thinks you're an heiress but you're actually just a starving carnival performer (Texas Carnival). Doesn't matter! As long as it can be neatly resolved at the end of the summer, have fun!

Rule 4: Invest in Waterproof Mascara

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There's an art to looking beautiful when you've just emerged from the water and you need to take your cues from Esther Williams (or Ariel, but that's a separate advice column...). The woman practically invented waterproof make-up. Here's an episode of 'Make Me Over' from my favourite podcast, You Must Remember This, that goes into the full story.

Rule 5: Find a Swim Partner

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Maybe it's a marble statue (Jupiter's Darling), maybe it's Tom and Jerry (Dangerous When Wet), maybe it's Red Skelton as the Black Swan (Bathing Beauty), maybe it's Van Johnson and you have to teach him to dance (Thrill of a Romance). Whoever it is, find a partner and make it memorable!

Rule 6: Don't Rush into Marriage

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Forget all the fuss about being a June bride for a second and consider just having fun. If you rush into marriage with the first man you meet (cough cough Thrill of a Romance), there's no time to get to know him and find out if you're truly compatible. Best to wait, but not too long (cough cough Easy to Love). 

Rule 7: Have a Fun Day Job

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If we're all still toiling under capitalism, make sure you're doing something you love. Take a cue from Esther's characters. They were bathing suit designers (Neptune's Daughter), gym teachers (Bathing Beauty), aquacade performers (Duchess of Idaho, Easy to Love), carnival workers (Texas Carnival), and open water swimmers (Dangerous When Wet)!

Rule 8: Keep it Light

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Summer is supposed to be light and fun and sunshiney and you can't do that if you're wrapped up in drama like some of Esther's lesser known films, like The Hoodlum Saint, The Gentle Web, and Raw Wind in Eden. Save the drama for darker days and have some fun!

Rule 9: Summer Sports Are Fine So Long as You Focus On Swimming

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Baseball is the summer sport after all, so you're allowed to indulge (Take Me Out to the Ball Game). Bull fighting, too, I guess, if that's more your speed (although why would you want to?) (Fiesta). Open water swimming, like across the English Channel (Dangerous When Wet) is advised only if you're a champ swimmer.

Rule 10: Have a Happy Ending

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If love is on your mind this summer, fingers crossed for your happy ending. If career advancement is your goal, I'm rooting for you. Perhaps you just want your gent to surprise you with supper (Duchess of Idaho) or to move on to bigger adventures (Jupiter's Darling). Whatever it is, I hope you have a great summer!