All Hail Aunt Albertina! - Gidget Goes to Rome

It's Wednesday, lovelies, and you know what that means! Another Wednesdays with Gidget post, and this week we're focusing on the star of Gidget Goes to Rome...in my mind, anyway.

gif by me

That's right, I'm talking about Aunt Albertina! 

The premise of Gidget Goes to Rome, the third and final movie in the Gidget trilogy, is that she and her friends are conspiring to spend the summer in Rome (so that she can spend unchaperoned time with Moondoggie, cause that's still a thing that's happening). 

Moondoggie's friend Judge ropes in a previously-unknown Aunt Albertina to chaperone the group, which includes Gidget, Moondoggie, and friends Lucy, Libby, and Clay, and then suddenly the parents are all willing to let them go to Rome. 

Gidget's father contacts an old war-time friend to look after her, but we'll get into that later. 

Right now, let's focus on Aunt Albertina, who shows up just as the gang has arrived at the hotel to find they have no reservation. 

The first time we meet Aunt Albertina Blyth, she's shushing her two tiny dogs, Howard and Ethel, and telling them if they're not quiet, she'll cut them out of her will. She's already an icon to me. 

The next thing she does is ask who the heck Judge is, because he greets her with a kiss and she hasn't a clue as to who is he is (she doesn't even know how they're related). 

She then tells them why she was late: the airline wanted to put Howard and Ethel in with the luggage, so she had to find alternative means of getting there, namely on the Rome Express. 

And then Judge introduces her to all of her charges: Gidget, Moondoggie, Lucy, Libby, and Clay. She gets a good look at Moondoggie and tells him that it's unfortunate for her that he was born too late. Something tells me Aunt Albertina would never put up with a beau named Moondoggie. 

Now, onto the reservation and the Italian guide she promised (but forgot about). She assures them all, including Gidget, who she calls 'The Sweet One' that they'll get their guide because she has absolutely no interest in catacombs, coliseums or any other ruins except for her own. 

But there's only one reservation at the hotel, for Albertina, so she has to work her magic.

 

Alberto, the concierge, tells her that of course her own suite is ready, but it's the height of the tourist season and he can't possibly conjure up two double rooms with an extra bed in each. 

"I know," says Albertina. "That's why you're so good to make room for us." She slides money towards him and look at that! Suddenly the two double rooms with an extra bed in each become available. 

And the guide she'd wired about? Alberto tries to say, again, that he can't possibly find a guide now, but Albertina slides more money his way with the admonishment that he's repeating himself, and suddenly, a guide will be available. 

She goes back over to retrieve Howard and Ethel from Moondoggie and gives him another lookover. "Too bad," she says. "But perhaps later, in some other incarnation." 

The next morning, Albertina inquires about the guide, then comes over to tell them that they'll be there momentarily. Lucy questions if he'll be handsome, and Albertina gives her the sage advice that all Italian men are handsome. 

Anyways, while they're off touring around, she's going shopping at Fontana's, and will order clothes she doesn't need only because the Fontana Sisters (who, fun fact, designed Audrey Hepburn's wedding dress for the wedding she cancelled to James Hanson right around the filming of Roman Holiday. They gave it away, at her direction, to an Italian bride who wouldn't have been able to buy a nice dress of her own.) will call her bellisima. 

Notice how Howard and Ethel are in a tiny bag? 

If you're interested, here's their guide, Daniela, who shows up after Albertina leaves. She's Alberto's daughter. And suddenly Moondoggie can't focus on anything but the Italian beauty for the rest of the movie. God, he's such an ass. 

And here's the other main plot point of Gidget Goes to Rome: Paolo Cellini, a friend of Gidget's father from their war days, who is secretly looking after Gidget while she's in Italy but disguises this wanting to talk to an American tourist for his Italian magazine. 

Gidget, naturally, falls head over heels for him, and can you blame her? Especially when Moondoggie's the competition? 

Gidget skips dinner with the gang, who go to the Caracalla Baths at Daniela's urging. Albertina's there, with Howard and Ethel in yet another purse. Gidget skips the dinner in favour of having dinner, solo, with Paolo. 

Daniela reveals that she studies paleontology, and Albertina issues another edict: every time they talk about fossils in her presence, they have to smile. Judge asks her if she's having any fun at all, and she says, "Certainly not, I'm here as a chaperone," and tells them that she'll never let his father, or is it his mother, talk her into this job again. 

And just as she's said that, one of her oldest friends, the Duke of Malta "or is it Padua?" comes over and asks her to do a twist. Of course! She gives Howard and Ethel to Judge and Clay (Moondoggie begged off so he could droll over Daniela, who's absolutely stunning in her deep red gown and tiara, by the way) some more. 

When next we see Albertina, she's dining with yet another old friend, Ginger, when she spots Gidget and Paolo coming to the same restaurant. 

Gidget'd gotten into a touch of trouble at the museum, touching artifacts she wasn't supposed to and then getting nearly arrested before demanding to be taken to the US embassy, where she was only released after calling Paolo to rescue her. 

Oh, and Moondoggie had essentially broken up with her the night before, saying without saying it that he wanted to break up so that he could try to pursue Daniela and Gidget could be free to do what she wanted with Paolo. I don't have words to describe how much I loathe Moondoggie. 

Albertina can't remember Gidget's name at first, she thinks it's Budget "or something" and is surprised to hear Gidget introduce herself as Francesca (her real name's Francine). More sophistication for our girl surfer! 

Paolo invites Albertina and Ginger, who we find out is a countess, to join them for tea, but it turns out they're late to meet yet more friends (and Ginger turns up her nose at drinking tea), so they take off. But not before Albertina can properly meet Paolo. "Mind your own business, Howard." 

"And Howard, if you don't stop being so jealous, I don't know what I'm—" Albertina says, walking back into the hotel, stopping when she spots the gang, minus Gidget, in the lobby. 

"Where did she meet that beautiful continental male?" Albertina asks, telling them that she's already seen Gidget at the restaurant. They'd been looking for her. 

After yet even more escapades, including Gidget giving Moondoggie back his pin so that he can give it to Daniela, and then Gidget crashing (literally) a Fontana Sisters fashion show, and then Moondoggie sneaking over to Roma magazine's offices where he learns that Paolo's married (but not a friend of Gidget's father), Albertina's in her hotel suite living the high life. 

I'd love to have purple hair, for like...10 minutes. 

As she's styled herself with a short-haired black wig, Gidget comes knocking, but doesn't recognize her at first. But then, when Albertina tells her that she's right there, Gidget asks "Mrs. Blyth, can I speak to you for a minute?" 

Albertina tells her of course, since Howard and Ethel aren't currently talking to her. 

And then she puts on a blonde wig as Gidget pours her heart out about being in love with a married man. And Albertina questions her about whether she should go blonde. And they're both supplying answers that work for both conversations, so they're both hearing what they want to hear. 

Until Albertina mentions having six or seven, and Gidget thinks she means married men. That clears it up, and suddenly Albertina's full of advice. "The last time I was in love with a married man, I..." but then she trails off because that's clearly not advice she wants to give 'the wholesome one.'

"Nobody ever wrecks a happy home," Albertina says, plucking at her face. Now she's spacing out again as Gidget recounts a fantasy she's built for herself where Paolo isn't happily married (he is) and is only staying with his wife out of obligation (he's not) and that his wife might be persuaded to give him up in the name of true love (she won't, because she's currently pregnant with another child). 

Albertina chimes in with a reminiscence, that she'd done just that once, but she can't remember if it was on Brighton Beach or not... 

And as Gidget continues on with her puppy love story, about how Mrs. Cellini might feel like she could give up Paolo and not stand in the way of true love, Albertina finally chimes in with good advice: go out and buy a new hat, and charge it to Albertina. 

You can tell from her face that it's not what Gidget wanted or expected to hear, but she follows it... 

...here's the hat she chose. As someone who loves hats and wishes they'd make a comeback (which I know is quite unlikely), I approve and live vicariously through her! 

Gidget's about to make a fool of herself at the Cellini house, but before she can confess her love for Paolo, or try to blow up their marriage, Mrs. Cellini announces she's pregnant with his fifth child, Paolo returns home, and Gidget finds the letter from her father asking Paolo to keep an eye out for Gidget in Rome (the house is in disarray because Mrs. Cellini is packing to go on vacation with the children). 

Gidget even makes a comment about not wanting to be a homewrecker, but Mrs. Cellini totally brushes it off (because she knows that Gidget's not her competition and that she, at most, might have a puppy dog crush on her husband, as he's told her all about Gidget). Then she rushes out and cries to Paolo when he sees her in the hallway, and she confesses to the puppy love and that she knows he's a friend of her father, and he treats her very gently. 

So Gidget runs off, heartbroken that Paolo has been keeping the truth from her (but still on good terms with the Cellini family). She wants Moondoggie back (whyyyyyy?) but is dismayed that he's in love with Daniela. 

Meanwhile, Moondoggie's meeting with Daniela to tell her all that, and to give her jewellery, and to ask her to come over to America to be with him, but she tells him that she's never been in love with him and can't give up everything to be with him (good for you, Daniela, you've never been the villain here.)

In fact, it's kind of been painted on her face the entire time that she's not been interested in Moondoggie. But you can't have a teen movie without contrived romantic problems, so there you go! 

Gidget and Moondoggie reconcile after she has, yet another, police altercation at the Trevi Fountain, after she's thrown in her mother's lucky coin and wades in to retrieve it. 

The police are going to drag her off to jail again when Moondoggie intervenes and says, at the American Embassy, that "we all make mistakes" and Gidget realizes that he's still in love with her, and God help me, they reconcile. 

The embassy officials ask if they can promise that Gidget's leaving Rome, only too eager to see her go.

Finally, it's their last morning in Rome, and Albertina's on the phone wondering where the breakfast for three is that she ordered an hour ago. She hears a knocking at the door, and assumes it's her breakfast...

...but it's just the kids, coming to say goodbye. She forgot that they were leaving today, and is sad, after all that, to see them go.

She tells Judge to figure out how they're related, Clay not to grow anymore, and saves her last goodbye for Gidget.

They then reveal a present for Albertina: they pooled their money to buy her a new hat, because she said it will always make you feel better. 

"What can I say except bellisima?" Moondoggie asks, the first and only time I've ever agreed with him.

"God bless you one and all!" Albertina cries as they leave, and that's curtains on the lovely Aunt Albertina! 

THE END!

Well, not the end, but the end as I see it, because Aunt Albertina is truly the star of Gidget Goes to Rome. 

Come back next week for our last Wednesdays with Gidget entry!