I’ve Watched Susan Slept Here at Least 5 Times and I Still Don’t Totally Understand the Plot…

Welcome. This is such a weird movie. Literally the only thing I've retained is that its set design is perfection, but aside from that... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Susan Slept Here is somehow a Christmas movie, a romantic drama, a romantic comedy, a musical, and a very, very questionable love story between a teenager and a grown man (who's probably supposed to be late '20s early '30s but is played by my arch-nemesis Dick Powell, so looks geriatric in comparison to Debbie Reynolds), and features a cameo from a talking Oscar. 

I don't believe I've made any of that up, hence the title of this blog post. I'm writing all of this before I pop the DVD in and hit play (I own it because I love Debbie Reynolds and I want that kitchen someday, sue me). So what I'm doing today is sitting down and watching this movie from start to finish, and I'm going to add some colour commentary as I do it. 

At the end, we're either gonna walk away with the plot committed to memory or we're gonna be right back where we started from. Place your bets and may the odds be ever in your favour. Let's go!  

This is a nice title song... if you overlook that it's from Dick Powell's point of view towards a teenager.

The fact that this movie opens with narration by an Oscar statue to introduce us to Dick Powell. 

It fits that Dick Powell's character thinks he's smarter than he is and walks out of RKO Studios because he thinks he can write a better script than the type of film that won him an Oscar. 

Wrapping paper peaked in the '50s. 

Oh, I forgot about the guy with the buzz cut! He both looks like he just graduated high school and that he's about to get a 20-year service pin from the dealership he works at.

One of the police officers looks like one of the gangsters from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Like, it's uncanny. They have to be related. 

Buzz cut was Dick Powell's commanding officer in the Navy? Jesus wept, what age are they playing Dick as? (His name is Virgil, for future reference.)

Wait wait wait. The way they introduce Debbie's character is that Dick wanted to talk to a juvenile delinquent for script research and they bring her up on Christmas Eve?!

THE DETECTIVE'S NAME IS MAISEL?! Oh, he's gotta be related.

"Hollywood Home for Wayward Girls..." I may have to adopt that as my phone greeting. 

Isabella is way too glamorous for Dick Powell.

It's always so baffling to me, because I did retain this part, that the vice squad guys are trying to keep Susan off the streets at Christmas and keep her from spending Christmas in jail, but Jesus. Calling up a screenwriter you once talked to at RKO and fobbing her off on him because he once expressed an interest in writing about juvenile delinquents? 

Virgil is the only smart one in this movie. 

Update on the detective: he is not related to the mobster from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

That being said, now I want crepe suzettes.

My favourite part of this movie is when Susan kicks Dick Powell in the shin. 

The backdrop of Dick's bar is neat. I don't think I noticed that in my Apartment Therapy post about it. 

You know Dick Powell thinks he's just so great in this movie. 

How convenient that his movie is playing as the Christmas Eve Movie Matinee for the first time ever just as he needs to prove to Susan that he's a writer. 

And of course he says he wrote the film when he just has an 'additional dialogue by' credit. The movie was too beneath him so they don't bother watching further.

Ew. The transition from mutual loathing to girl with a crush is too quick. 

It baffles me that the police could just drop off Susan with a bachelor man instead of at like, a women's shelter? A church? I don't know...

I want that kitchen. That's the only good thing in this movie. 

Wait, Susan and Isabella have talked before? Did it happen on screen?

I can't tell if she's a good cook or not, too focus on the mid-century appliances!

Wait, he's mad that she took the rolling pin into the bedroom with her? SHE JUST MET HIM LESS THAN 12 HOURS AGO!

Yes, Dick Powell, we knew that you were older than 34

Wait wait wait... his character is 35 but he tells people he's 29? Jesus wept.

I looked him up (and now that's in my browser history, so yay me), he was 50 when this came out. 

He said the movie title!

Do we know why Virgil sleeps in a room with a bunk bed? I need this one to pay off. 

How many times has Isabella been married? 

Who gives a teenager a mink wrap because they make good breakfast. 

Ew. Whistling at her? Jesus wept. 

Ew. The mistletoe. 

Ew, why has he suddenly adopted this weird, deep paternal voice where Susan's concerned? 

He can't listen to Virgil and the lawyer, that would be too easy...

Hahaha, I love that Maude says she knows about motherhood because she typed the script to Stella Dallas

Honestly, this whole section is confusing. They get married so Susan won't go to reformatory school until July, but then Dick takes off immediately and leaves everyone else to deal with the fallout?

Isabella, don't throw yourself at Dick Powell. You deserve so much better!

Okay, this birdcage dream sequence is pretty amazing. I love that Susan's costume is just sequined jeans and a sequined plaid shirt. 

And Isabella as the black widow luring him away. So good! Too bad they're both doing the absolute most for Dick Powell. 

That wedding dress is gorgeous.

You can glean that a woman's pregnant because she's eating strawberries and mixed pickles? 

God, that sounds disgusting though. When she poured the milk or cream (whatever it was) all over the pickles, my God. 

Rita Johnson!

Red Skelton!

So Dick also likes strawberries and pickles together and this isn't weird, but Susan likes them and she's a cheating pregnant juvenile wife? 

I like that Virgil and Maude wrap up their time with Dick. They both grew to love Susan but they really need to step back from this trainwreck.

I'd take a long last look at that kitchen too, Virgil. 

The dress Susan wears at the end is so gorgeous. Too bad she's committed to being Dick Powell's wife. 

So overall, I retained the major points: she's a juvenile delinquent who gets taken to his place on Christmas Eve, they get married to keep her out of reformatory school, then they fall in love by the end of it. It's all the nonsense in between that's hard to keep in my brain. 

Still, the best thing about this movie is the set design! What are your thoughts on Susan Slept Here? Let me know in the comments!

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