"Nostrova!" - The Glass Bottom Boat
Who's ready for some zany, Cold War-era, kooky Doris Day shenanigans!
This is my main entry for the Fifth Annual Doris Day Blogathon, hosted by Love Letters to Old Hollywood. Click to read all the other entries this weekend!
Let's dive in, literally!
A beautiful establishing shot to let us know where we are: California.
More specifically, we're aboard a glass bottom boat. It's run by Axel Nordstrom (played by Arthur Godfrey).
His daughter, Jennifer Nelson (played by Doris Day), helps him out by dressing as a mermaid to swim under the glass bottom boat.
Who else wanted to be a mermaid as a kid? Thanks, Ariel.
Also out on the open sea? Bruce Templeton (played by Rod Taylor), who's fishing on his boat, Sea Whiz.
He snags more than a fish, though...
Oopsies!
"What in heaven's name do you think you're doing?" Jennifer asks him. "You talkin' to me?" he replies.
Jennifer: Yes, I'm talkin' to you! That's my suit on your line.
Bruce: Oh, I'm sorry. It's a pretty funny-lookin' suit.
Jennifer: It's my mermaid tail, and would you please throw it back?
Bruce: That's kind of difficult. It's all tangled. Why don't you come aboard, and I'll untangle it for you?
Jennifer: That's a little difficult, too, since I'm bottomless!
Jennifer then asks if he believes in signs. There's a no fishing sign that he's ignoring, and she says she's going to have him arrested. He says he's going to have her arrested for going around without her bottoms on.
Now that we've established the conflict, let's go ahead and hit the opening credits!
This is The Glass Bottom Boat, and of course Doris Day sang the super catchy title song. Listen here.
And now, we're at the NASA facilities in Long Beach...
...where Bruce, an aerospace executive, is showing off the anti-gravity device he's just invented: GISMO (gravity inertial stabilized manned observatory).
"Do the Russians have anything like GISMO?" An executive asks him. "No. I'm sure they'd like it, though," he replies.
Executive: Can you give us the equation?
Bruce: No. I'm sure they'd like that even better.
Jennifer is giving tours, as she's a newly-hired communications professional at NASA.
Just after she's asked to jump in on GISMO work, she asks the front desk clerk for a dime to call her dog, Vladimir, at home. "With me away at work all day, the poor thing doesn't get any exercise, so whenever the phone rings, he runs around the house barking like crazy."
Cut to Vladimir going crazy running around the living room while the phone rings.
And cue this security guard, Homer Cripps (played by Paul Lynde, a favourite of mine), listening in on her conversation. When she says Vladimir into the phone, he's instantly suspicious.
Jennifer then takes a tour group to the executive area, and, in classic screwball fashion, gets her heel stuck in a grate. Which is naturally, where Bruce once again enters the picture.
"Hey, you're the mermaid!" he says, when he sees Jennifer. "Didn't recognize you with your clothes on."
"Don't you believe in signs?" Bruce asks, throwing back Jennifer's earlier line in her face.
Jennifer runs off without her shoe, leaving Bruce to run after her like Cinderella. He finds her, naturally, walking on the grass, right next to a sign that says 'please keep off the grass.'
She runs and hides behind her friend's desk...
...but he followed her in.
And Donna sells her out, leading to yet another meet-cute moment between Jennifer and Bruce.
Now that she knows she's talking to Bruce Templeton, Jennifer's totally embarrassed. She apologies, he brushes it off. "It just seems I now owe you one shoe and one mermaid's tail," he says. He hands over her high heel and tells her he'll be in touch about the mermaid's tail.
This is Zack, and he's covered in dust because he went to the clean room to find Bruce and it...dusted him.
Meanwhile, Homer Cripps is back on the trail...
...watching Jennifer make another call to Vladmir...
...who is getting more exercise by the ring.
Bruce finds out from the higher-ups that GISMO needs to launch soon, and that it's a $75 million contract.
Back at home, Jennifer runs into her neighbours, Abner and Gladys Kravitz—sorry, here they're Norman and Mabel Fenimore, but these two played the nosy wife and disinterested husband next door to Samantha and Darren on Bewitched and it's a winning formula—who accepted a package for her.
It's from a Mr. Templeton. "It must be my mermaid tail," Jennifer says. Mabel tries to invite Jennifer over for dinner to meet a male friend, but Jennifer asks for a raincheck and takes off for home to get Vladimir to stop barking.
And if you're wondering what kind of homeowner Jennifer is...
...she lives in a menagerie. The birds tell her to "Call a cop!"
While she's feeding the animals, her father comes in over the shortwave radio. He invites her over on the weekend, but she's got plans.
Jennifer opens the package. It's a bikini. The note read: "Couldn't find the tail, will this cover you?"
She holds it up to her body and exclaims, "He's kidding!"
Back at NASA, Homer's got intel for Bruce about Jennifer.
She's a widow who helps out her father, and "lives alone with dog, two mynah bird and tropical fish. Hobbies: boating and cooking. Won first prize in baking contest for banana-cream cake. Holds navigator's license number 7256. Currently taking night courses in—now are you ready for this?—Dramatic writing, ballet, sculpture, music appreciation, radio telegraphy, ceramics and mapmaking."
Bruce isn't deterred because he figures there's an equation for everything, even two objects on different orbits. He summons Jennifer to work for him and write his official biography. She'll follow him around to get his life story and work on "Project Venus"
As he goes about his day, he tells Jennifer all about his life. He grew up in Iowa, and likes "baseball, paperbacks, movies. Oh, and l love a really good piece of banana-cream cake."
Jennifer's impressed because, wouldn't you know it? She also loves banana-cream cake and once won a prize for it!
They watch experiments all day...
...lest you forget we're in the midst of the Cold War.
After a long day, Jennifer's ready to go home.
Homer's on her tail though, and is instantly suspicious when he sees her...
...burning paperwork.
Anyways, it's much of the same, Jennifer following Bruce around while he does important, secret work. They watch a rocket launch together. Well, Bruce watches it. Jennifer watches him.
She heads over to his house to continue working. It's a marvel in mid-century gadgets and must've been the height of cutting-edge once upon a time. Now it's kind of dated, but I'd still live in it if given the chance.
Bruce is meeting with a CIA agent when Jennifer shows up. He's convincing the CIA that his 'secret project' is totally protected.
"Each vault opens only to the frequency of my voice in a special word sequence." And that means it's invulnerable.
Would it be a Doris Day film if there weren't a few hijinks? Of course not! She runs into this chap when he pops out from behind one of those sliding doors behind a bookcase. He's there to fix up the PA system (...or is he?).
And manages to step into Jennifer's cake. He's worried that the cold from the cake will permeate through his shoe, so Jennifer tries to get it all into the garbage can, but he, of course, gets his foot stuck.
It turns into a whole ordeal, naturally.
And once again, Bruce shows up to save the day!
Jennifer's apologetic about messing up the house, but Bruce waves off her offers to clean it (we'll see why in a few minutes). He's just sad that the cake was destroyed because it's a staple of his diet.
So they decide to make a new cake. This kitchen! It's kind of laughable now but imagine how cutting-edge this all seemed once upon a time.
And why's the kitchen so clean? Bruce made a provision for mess. It's an automatic floor cleaner that Bruce calls the Bug. It's designed to have eyes and ears, and can tell whenever there's a mess. It goes in and out of its cupboard whenever there's a still.
Hey, what's this? A secret code?
Remember our hapless repairman friend Pritter? He's in another room searching for something. Could he be the spy Homer's trying to suss out?
Shady, shady!
Now that they've finished preparing the cake, there's time for more hijinks in the kitchen. It starts with Jennifer accidentally turning up the heat in the oven when she slides away from Bruce giving her a kiss and continues after he leaves to answer a call on his private phone.
By the time Jennifer notices, the cake's shriveled up and pops out of the oven. In the commotion, Jennifer doesn't catch it and the Bug comes out to clean it up. Then, it steals her slipper clean off her foot and retreats!
Jennifer manages to get it back, but the Bug was a tough competitor.
Later, Pritter shows up at a carnival to drop off his secret photos.
His buddy pulls out the film reel to examine them.
Jennifer and Bruce are sailing to Catalina Island and testing out yet another project Bruce is working on for the Navy involving robotics.
For some reason, Bruce is content to give Jennifer the controls because being the girl from the glass bottom boat is apparently mettle enough to drive a boat. You'd think he'd have learned by now, but nope! They lose the remote and then she loses Bruce!
If you were wondering, she's not much of a driver...luckily Bruce gets the remote and can steer her again, though it doesn't prevent what comes next.
I can't imagine this damage was cheap...
Later, they show up at Jennifer's father's house for a feast. This is Doris Day's chance to show off her pipes: they sing 'The Glass Bottom Boat' and 'Que Sera, Sera' while Bruce looks on in admiration.
When the night ends, Bruce can't help but go back for a kiss.
He's back to work on top secret business.
Then Jennifer shows up at his house, and Bruce keeps seeing details he never noticed before...
...like this ace costume. In his little fantasy, Bruce hears Jennifer say, "Mata Hari stops at nothing. Nothing comes between Mata Hari and what she wants."
He shakes it off and sees Jennifer as she really is.
He leaves her to go get a shower...
...and when she thinks he's come back into the room, she beckons him over for a kiss. Only...
...for some reason, Zack decides it's perfectly okay to kiss her instead. Jennifer only notices when she hears Bruce talking above her.
Just as she leaves for home, General Bleecker shows up (played by another one of my favourite character actors, Edward Andrews). They both agree that they'll see each other at Bruce's party the next evening.
Meanwhile, our friend Pritter is finding out what happens when you're not a very good spy, and they want to know who Jennifer is, and what she knows about the equation, and figure they'll show up at Bruce's party, too.
The General finds out about Jennifer's supposed spy background and wants to know if GISMO is safe. And now she's on NASA's radar as well.
The next morning, Jennifer's talking to her father and he's filling her in on all the suspicious stuff he's been hearing about her (she tells him, jokingly, that she's the most dangerous woman in Lisbon), when someone knocks on the door with a petition.
Recognize Homer? He's there to spy under the guise of getting her to sign a petition to get rid of the traffic signals because they ping, ping, ping all night and it annoys him.
She doesn't sign.
But, back to her father:
He watches some men in suits from outside his house. She tells him more about Vladimir (the dog), like how he jumped into bed with her for the first time in forever. The men listening in, naturally assume she's talking about a man named Vladimir.
They even get in Gladys's Mabel's way!
"Mutnik is better looking than that guy," Norman says, referring to their friend they wanted to set up with Jennie.
Finally, it's time to party! Pritter's hiding out trying to get information...
Bruce and Zack are talking about the report that Homer put together, but Bruce says that the only thing he determined after reading it is that Homer's in serious need of a vacation.
Just including this because it looks disgusting and I want three of them, oh, and it's bugged. But Zack thinks he's drinking, not that he's watching an olive move around on its own.
Jennifer shows up with another cake, and the hopes that Pritter won't step in it this time.
I love this shot.
Before Jennifer arrived, the General was telling Bruce and Zack that they're not there to party, they're there to find out if she's a spy.
Before the General can get to Jennifer, ostensibly to question her himself, Bruce steps in.
While watching them dance, the General confides in Zack that they can't trust Bruce. "Eyes peeled, full alert," the General says. Anyone in the room could be Vladimir.
Speaking of the lovebirds, they sneak off to the Red Room. There's a blue room next door, he tells her. Jennifer replies, "I love you."
In the midst of this proclamation, the telephone rings. Bruce keeps kissing her while answering it.
It's Zack, calling from the vault room. Bruce is needed right away, so he leaves Jennifer in the red room.
Hill's calling from the plant, and he's sitting at Jennifer's desk.
Meanwhile, Jennifer picks up the phone to call Vladimir so he can get his exercise, but she overhears Bruce and Hill talking about her being a spy and Project Venus, the project he'd made up to get close to her.
And she's finding out that he lied about everything, including loving banana-cream cake, which he absolutely hates. Hill tells them to keep Jennifer there, but Bruce says not to worry, she doesn't have the brains to be a spy. I beg your pardon?!
Wouldn't you be pissed and upset after hearing all that? So can you blame Jennifer for wanting to get even?
Jennifer grabs her jacket, but Anna says that the fun hasn't even begun.
The General tells Zack that they can't trust Bruce, so they're going to have to spend the night with Jennifer, and fight fire with fire. Speak of the devil... Jennifer wants to have the next dance with the General, but right after she powders her nose and makes a phone call.
As someone who loves the colour yellow, this is my dream.
Jennifer calls a random man and says, "Vassily? Don't talk, just listen. The goods you ordered will be at Pier 63, San Pedro, before midnight. Your contact will be wearing a black Windbreaker and a patch over his left eye. The recognition signal is, 'Vladimir sent me.' Over."
The men realize they need to get someone on the Pier. Jennifer places another call and tells a random woman that the deliveries are delayed and to expect them by morning.
Meanwhile, Bruce returns to the red room to Jennifer, but she's not there.
The General finally gets his dance. Jennifer tells him that she loves older men because she feels like she can share secrets with them. She tells him that she's going to spend the night at the guesthouse, and that they should get together later. Midnight, sharp, but she'll be five minutes late.
Now it's Zack's turn. She tells him that she doesn't like older men, and they vow to act like a couple of kids. She tells him she's spending the night at Bruce's guesthouse and they'll meet later in the red room at five after midnight.
The General returns with a drink and Jennifer toasts it: "Nostrova!" then leaves to 'dictate' a memo with her compact, reciting 'Mary Had a Little Lamb.' Then, she takes off before Zack or the General can follow her.
Bruce returns to the party and asks the General after Jennifer. He lies and says he hasn't seen her, but that he's leaving too, it's almost midnight. Then he runs into Zack: same thing, but this time he reveals that he's meeting with Jennie to share military secrets, and that he'll have to make his up since he doesn't have any of his own.
Meanwhile, Homer's in disguise waiting in the powder room, thinking that Jennifer won't notice.
She does. She offers to help him with his bow, and ties it to the lamp. It's worth noting that Homer was talking to Pritter earlier and only kind of suspects him.
Jennifer and Bruce finally reunite in the kitchen. She tries to leave, he won't let her. He wants to know what the nutty talk's all about. She tells him she's sending a message to the Kremlin for a secret recipe, and he tells her that he'll sort it out with the General.
Then he locks her in the pantry to ensure that she can't leave.
Bruce tells Hill that Jennifer's not a spy, and that if the rest of the spies at the CIA are as good as him, they're in trouble. Bruce calls Washington, D.C. to speak to someone, but Hill wanders off.
Oh! What's this?
He recorded Bruce giving the secret code, that only works in his voice, and opens the vault to get GISMO.
Bruce screams for Homer, tells him to find Hill, that he's not with the CIA, and to post guards everywhere.
Hill, now in possession of GISMO, sneaks through the kitchen, goes through Jennifer's purse, puts the secret notes in there, then sneakily lets her out.
She grabs her stuff and goes to take off, but Bruce comes rushing in to say he's sorry and that he loves her and her banana-cream cake, but she smashes it in his face and the Bug comes out to clean it up.
When Jennifer gets home, she finds there's an intruder.
It's Pritter. He wants to know who she is and who she's spying for. Jennifer says she's not a spy and that she was only acting that way to show them up, that they had their fun and she had hers, too.
Pritter wants to know who Vladimir is and what's GISMO. He tries to torture her with a lit cigar, but, as you can imagine, he's not very effective, and gets sick on the cigar smoke. The gun he was pointing at her was actually a water pistol. Jennifer tells him if she weren't a lady, she'd smoke him. He starts crying.
Jennifer finds the GISMO notes in her purse.
While Hill watches from outside.
The men, meanwhile, are trying to find Hill, when Jennifer calls asking for him.
He chooses then to make his appearance, and hangs up the phone for her. Homer stays behind to call the police. Pritter tells her, without saying it, that he recognizes Hill's voice. Hill puts the pieces together for her, though, and then holds her at gunpoint to get the GISMO plans.
Luckily for Jennifer, one of her birds yells to "Call a cop!" and she chooses that moment to run. She tries to call for help from the bedroom, but can't get a hold of anyone who'll help, so she runs out of the house and next door.
Right through Gladys and Abner's Mabel and Norman's bedroom!
Of course, only Mabel notices anything; Norman's fast asleep.
You have to hand it to Alice Pearce, she really built a great, if too brief, career, out of playing this type of character. She had a great sense of comedic timing.
Anyways, she smashes a lamp on Hill's head in anger because her husband won't wake up and believe her that Jennifer and Hill are in the house.
Oh, back to Bruce and co. While rushing over, he gets the story from Jennifer's father and now knows who Vladimir really is.
Oh, and they crash right into Jennifer's house, because why not?
Now they're all looking for Jennifer...
But she's next door.
Poor Gladys Kravitz Mabel Fenimore...
Anyways, like any good Doris Day movie, it all resolves itself in the end, and before we know it, Jennifer and Bruce are back out on the boat.
But they're so wrapped up in each other, they forget to steer, and once again end up on dry land!
Such a wacky movie! It doesn't all work for me, but it's still so hilarious and fun. Great screenshots!
ReplyDeleteThanks for bringing TWO delightful posts to my blogathon!