"Appy Nuuu Cheah!" - Bachelor Mother

December 31, 2021

"Appy Nuuu Cheah!" - Bachelor Mother

Happy New Year! Or, as Polly would say, "Appy Nuuu Cheah!" (thank you Kate Gabrielle for the phonetic spelling!)

There's a dearth of New Year's Eve-related movies, but Bachelor Mother focuses on that week between Christmas and New Year's, so let's enjoy a little bit of Ginger Rogers, and little bit of David Niven, and a chance to say goodbye to 2021!

1939 was a big year for Ginger, in my estimation. The last film she made with Fred Astaire (for a decade) was released, The Story of Vernon and Irene Castle; and two of her biggest hits came out: Fifth Avenue Girl and Bachelor Mother. She had a string of hits behind her, and she was poised to enter the 1940s in a great place career-wise: she'd be the first actress of the decade to win an Oscar, for Kitty Foyle, and her star ascended from there.

Bachelor Mother is a cute romantic comedy about a single woman who works in a department store over the holiday season and is about to be laid off. I'm really selling it, aren't I?

It's nearly time to open the J.B. Merlin & Son department store on Christmas Eve Day, when the venerable J.B. Merlin makes his annual broadcast over the loud speakers.

"It is now five minutes before 9:00 on the day before Christmas. As has been my custom for the past 22 years, I address you today. I wish to offer you my thanks for your loyalty and cooperation during the past year. I needn't add that my son joins me in my sentiments. So, from the bottom of our hearts, we wish you the very merriest, merriest of Christmases and the happiest of New Years."

To add to the yuletide sentiment, Merlin and Son are sending out select Christmas cards to staff members...

...relieving seasonal workers of their jobs.

Including one Polly Parish, who has no idea how she's going to find a job after the holidays, since finding one before the holidays was hard enough. She asks her co-worker, Mary, if it's easy for women to get into the Navy. Mary tells her to go back home, what's here for her in New York if she has no job?

Just then, another co-worker, Freddie, who has a crush on Polly, walks up to them and tries to butter her up into fixing a dance contest with him that evening.

Freddie: Hey, Polly, I saw you hoofing at the employees' ball. Babe, you're really solid.

Polly: Think so?

Freddie: Yeah. And just to prove it to you, I'm gonna take you dancing tonight.

Polly: No. I don't feel like it.

Freddie: Not even for 50 bucks?

Polly: You mean, you're going to give me 50 bucks?

Freddie: Yeah, in a way. Come here. Now, listen. There's a dancing contest tonight at the Pink Slipper. The orchestra leader's one of the judges and he's my best pal. So we win second prize, 50 bucks and we split it up the middle.

It's a prospect Polly can't turn down, especially as she's unemployed as of the end of the business day, so she agrees.

And over lunch she heads out to an employment services business to get leads on jobs when she spots something troubling...

...the sad sight of a mother leaving her baby on the steps of a foundling home.

She tries to encourage the mother to keep her baby, but circumstances must be bad if this is the only option. The mother says her baby will be better off with the foundling home, they'll take care of it there, and then she disappears.

Polly watches the little bundle of blankets on the steps, and just as it's about to jostle off the step, she rushes up to catch him. And the door opens, setting our story in motion.

Care Worker: Your name, please.

Polly: Polly Parrish.

Care Worker: Are you employed anywhere?

Polly: I'm at Merlin's. You're so cute. Oh, just a minute. This isn't my baby. I found it on the doorstep outside. No, really.

Naturally, they don't believe her 'tale' that she was only stopping the baby from falling off the steps; they think she's trying to abandon her baby.

They tell her that they only want to help her, but she tells them that when she's ready to have a family, she'll do it the right way. She keeps trying to hand the baby off to the care workers, but he cries every time he leaves her arms, which further cements the idea that she's abandoning her child.

But Polly's fast, so she runs off before they can foist the baby back on her.

It's just too bad that they got her name and workplace from her before she ran off. The doctor is more than happy to go to Merlin's and beg for Polly's job back.

Speaking of Merlin and Son, enter the son, David Merlin. He's a playboy who doesn't seem to take anything too seriously. In fact, he strolls into work a little hungover from the night before, which saw him tangle with the law.

David: You're so interested in politics, you should investigate the police force in Scarsdale.

J.B.: And why?

David: Well, any motorcycle cop who can afford to turn down a hundred-dollar bribe must be in some crooked racket. Don't you think so?

J.B.: Did you sleep in jail?

David: No. No, I didn't sleep at all. I had to wait for the court to open.

J.B.: David, you can't keep up at the pace you're going. You'll crack up. Out every night with women and things.

David: And things?

J.B.: Well, you know what I mean.

Before he can shower or nap, like he wants to, he meets the doctor from the foundling home in his office, who fills him in on Polly's plight (and antics) at lunch. He passive-aggressively demands that David give Polly back her job, even though David points out that he doesn't handle those departments...

...until he realizes that arguing that point is futile, and summons Polly from her toy counter.

She hasn't the slightest idea why she's been called up to David's office, but he tells her to disregard the notice of unemployment she'd received, and that she'll also receive a $5 raise, backdated to the week prior.

That feeling when you've been fired, re-hired, and given a raise all in the span of four hours. Oh yeah, and a foundling home thinks you've abandoned your child.

Now that's settled, according to David. But the foundling home has another surprise for Polly...

...they've reunited her with her baby!

He's such a chubby lil cutie, too! Look at those lil wrist dimples!

Polly's having none of it, though. "That's not my baby!" she yells at them.

Doctor: Do you understand that Mr. Merlin gave you back your job so you could raise your child in security and comfort? And you are choosing instead to let it be raised as an orphan?

Polly: That's not my baby! I am not its mother!

Doctor: Come, Mrs. Wilkins.

Polly: That baby'll be back at the Foundling Home before you get there, even.

Doctor: I wouldn't try that if I were you. And it's no use your trying to leave it elsewhere, because it will only come back to us, and we have its footprints. I am not going to inform Mr. Merlin of your attitude.

Polly: Well, I am.

In the era of DNA testing, this would never happen, but imagine how frustrating it must've been for Polly, who was only trying to help that baby, to be forced into caring for it. She looks at her new ward.

"How do you like that? Well, listen, kid, this is nothing personal. I mean, it's... I just don't know anything about babies, and then you're so little. Hey, hey, take your finger out of your mouth. You want your teeth to grow crooked? Come on, come on, take them out. Take it out of your mouth."

And right on cue, Freddie's knocking at the door.

Polly hides the baby. Seems...like a bad decision.

And then she tries to beg off saying, "A little something's come up," which is a serious understatement.

Freddie shoves his way into her apartment and tries to convince her to come out, when the baby starts crying. Polly tries to pretend that she doesn't hear the obvious crying, and she might have gotten away with it, too...

...if the tot hadn't managed to get out of his bassinet and start crawling out from behind the couch.

Polly: It's not mine.

Freddie: Well, where'd it come from?

Polly: I got it for Christmas.

Freddie: This Christmas or last Christmas?

Polly: Look, I don't know what you're thinking, but you're all wrong.

Freddie: Hey, if you've got a headache or you think you're gonna have one, you know, we can call this whole thing off.

Polly: You said you brought a car, didn't you?

She suddenly decides that she wants to go out dancing after all. But she's got an errand to run first. So the trio bundles up and heads out...

...and Polly knocks on the door of the Merlin house, with the butler answering the door.

Polly: Is Mr Merlin in? The son. I'd like to see him. Merlin.

Butler: Would you tell me in reference to what?

Polly: I can't take care of this baby. After all, it's his responsibility and he has influence. He got me into this, he can get me out.

Butler: I'm sorry, madam...

Polly: Oh, no, you don't. You're gonna let me in.

Butler: You surely don't propose to leave that baby here? Mr. David wouldn't know what to do with it.

Polly: You can just tell him Miss Parrish left it here and then he'll have to use his influence in getting the baby into that home. Goodbye, baby.

And then she leaves.

Just as David's coming down the stairs.

The butler informs him that Polly just dropped a baby off, and that she only just left in a car.

So, naturally, David, the butler and the baby hop into another car and follow Polly and Freddie all the way to the Pink Slipper.

Now that he's seen her drop a baby off at the Merlin residence, Freddie's spooked, and wants to call the dance off. Polly won't let him off the hook, though. She wants her $25. "You think I want to run around with some gal that's friendly with the boss?" Freddie asks. "Don't be silly," she replies.

Busy for a Christmas Eve!

David and the butler are hot on their trail though, and have no problem waltzing into the Pink Slipper. What follows is a sincerely hilarious dance sequence: Ginger gets to show off her dance moves, David Niven gets to show off his comedic chops and then get thrown out of the Pink Slipper.

Watch for yourself! David decides that if he can't get the baby back to Polly on the dance floor, he'll do it another way.

And later, Polly and Freddie are heading back to her place. They look dejected over the results. "Imagine winning first prize."

Polly has no idea that there's a surprise waiting for her upstairs. Nor that he's diapered in David's handkerchief.

At her door, Freddie tries his hardest to get an invite inside. It's actually pretty funny, watching them sway back and forth as he tries to get in and she tries to keep him out.

And neither know that David Merlin is inside waiting for her.

Freddie: Well, how about asking a fellow in for a little smoke?

Polly: I haven't any cigarettes, either.

Freddie: Well, who's asking you for cigarettes? I got a whole pocketful of them. I just ain't got a match, that's all.

Polly: Well, I'm sorry, but I'm awfully tired and I have to get up...

Freddie: You don't have to get up in the morning. Come on, just a minute.

Polly: Well, I'm just a little tired, and I think it would be better...

Freddie: Only a few minutes.

He's thinking what we're all thinking: take the hint, Freddie!

Actually, he's probably thinking shameful things about Polly and flaunting her sexuality because that was the era. Anyways, once Freddie succeeds in getting inside, their faces speak for themselves once they realize they're not alone:

"I guess I'd better go," Freddie stammers, the cigarette and match forgotten. He takes off immediately.

And then David... well, he really lays into Polly here.

David: I've been here three hours, Miss Parrish, waiting to ask you just one question. What could possibly go on in that peculiar brain of yours that lets you jump around a dance floor like an idiot, 10 minutes after you've left your child in a strange house, with strange people who, for all you know, might strangle it?

Polly: Are you through?

David: No. I've seen some low things in my time, but a mother who has just abandoned her child, going... That will stand alone in my memory as something revolting.

Polly: Just one minute, Mr Merlin.

David: Are you interested in knowin what I'm gonna do?

Polly: Would it interest you to know that I am not the mother of that child?

David: And that, to me, is the lowest thing of all, that you can deny that baby when it cries as it leaves your arms. Those are experienced people. They know a real mother when they see one. I'm gonna fire you. In fact, you are fired. But that's nothing.

Polly: I'm not the mother of that child.

David: Fine, you're not the mother. But as you go from place to place looking for employment, you will discover that no department store in the Merchants of America Association will hire you. I'll see to that. But that's nothing. Any employer will ask you for a character reference and in my wildest imagination, I cannot conceive of anybody whose character is less deserving of a reference than yours. I'll explain your character!

Polly: Well, that's persecution.

David: I'll say it is. And eventually you'll come and you'll beg for your job back. And then you'll realize what it is to have security and a chance to bring up your child yourself. You danced. Now pay the fiddler man. You have an obligation to that child. Fulfil it.

He heads to the door to leave, but something stops him. He turns around and asks her if she's going to beg for her job back or if she's going to starve. She asks for her job back. And then she spins a story of why she's a bachelor mother.

Polly: I'm really not as bad as you think.

David: Why did you do it?

Polly: I had to. There was nobody I could turn to.

David: Well, isn't there some legal way to make the father support the baby?

Polly: I don't want to have anything to do with him.

David: Oh, I see.

Polly: He used to beat me.

David: No.

Polly: See that? Coffee pot.

David: Oh, you poor kid.

Polly: It all started...

David: Yes, well, I must go now and you ought to get some sleep, I think. Don't worry anymore. The store is behind you.

Polly: Thank you, Mr Merlin.

It's kind of scummy that he takes off just as she's telling him that she'd been in an abusive relationship, but at least he's not castigating her anymore?

She looks over at the baby, accepting her lot, when she hears another knock on the door. This time it's her landlady.

She tries to mask the baby from view, but she shouldn't worry, the landlady's smitten.

She tells Polly that she's the one who let David up, and that the baby looks just like her. She offers to help look after the baby, and has an arsenal of supplies downstairs that Polly can use.

And then she asks a question that nobody has bothered to find out the answer to until now: what's the baby's name?

"Joan," she says. Then she's corrected: "John."

She's exhausted back at work; barely awake when Freddie comes up to promise that he'll keep her secret. She tells him that she hasn't been sleeping due to the baby. He wants her help getting a floorwalker position.

Meanwhile, Polly's got a new minder/admirer watching her.

He goes over and asks why she's so tired. She tells him the baby hasn't slept for the past two nights.

David: Well, why don't you have it sleep on its stomach? I read that someplace. That's how they like to sleep.

Polly: And do you know how to get a baby to sleep on its stomach? You turn it on its stomach and then you go to bed, and the baby turns over and starts to cry, and then you get up and turn the baby on its stomach and go back to bed. And then the baby starts to cry, and then you get up and turn the baby on its stomach and pretty soon it's 9:00 and you're winding a duck.

David: Don't any mothers sleep?

Polly: I'm beginning to think they don't.

David: Well, there can't be very much to it. After all, everybody here was a baby once and they all got through it all right.

Polly: Thanks. I'll think of that.

David: Oh, that's just a pose that all mothers put on that it's so difficult to raise a child.

While this is happening, Freddie's getting the promotion he desperately wants. Mostly because of seniority. They don't seem like they'd be rushing to give it to him otherwise.

Anyways, they tell Freddie to grab a carnation (which separates him from the other workers) on his way in the next day and that's that.

Later that evening, Polly's feeding John when she gets a visitor...

It's David, and he comes bearing childrearing materials so that the baby will sleep through the night. What follows is a funny sequence where he tries to explain how to alleviate gas.

I could explain it, but I'll let this clip do the work for me:

Hilarious!

After that fiasco, David notices that the toy Donald Duck Polly purchased doesn't work.

David: Couldn't be that you wound it too tight?

Polly: No, I wound it quite normally.

He tells her that it's an inferior product. She tells him she bought it at Merlin & Son. He tells her to do an exchange the next day. She replies, "Ha ha."

David: What is wrong with our exchange department?

Polly: They don't exchange anything.

David: Oh, they only exchanged $50,000 worth of goods last year, that's all. Just get the thing exchanged.

Polly: Never mind, I'll just buy a new one.

David: Then I'll get it exchanged for you.

Polly: Certainly. You probably could get it exchanged. For a grand piano or something.

He vows to do so, and there's some lingering looks, and then, wouldn't you know it? David's gotta go to a Chamber of Commerce event.

The next morning, Freddie's finally enjoying the fruits of his promotion...

...and David, in disguise, shows up to Polly's toy counter so that they can exchange her defective duck.

It's another hilarious sequence that I can't possibly do justice to, so here's the clip:

My favourite part is when he starts parroting everything she says, down to the scoff. Also, so much for that promotion, Freddie...

Freddie vows to not forgive David Merlin for losing his promotion and tells Polly's co-worker that he knows "where the body's buried."

When next we see David, it's New Year's Eve and he's readying for a party. He calls up his latest girlfriend, Louise.

Louise: The last thing you said to me, ten days ago, was that you'd call.

David: Well, I got in rather a mess.

Louise: I'm terribly sorry, David, but I'm afraid you'll just have to go stag tonight.

David: Oh, don't worry about me. I'll get someone.

Louise: It's New Year's Eve, David. And it's after 8:00. You'll never get anyone at this hour. Anyone presentable.

"I'll be all right," he promises.

Enter Polly.

David shows up at her apartment with a new toy duck in tow. He'd managed to exchange it no problem after all.

David: I was taking my shower and it occurred to me you might be having kind of a dull evening. So, come on. Get dressed. We're going to a swell party.

Polly: Stood up, huh?

David: Hmm?

Polly: You were stood up.

David: No, I... Yes, I... I promised to call her back and I forgot.

Polly: I'd love to go with you, but I can't leave the baby alone.

David: Oh, the baby. You don't have to devote your whole life to the baby.

Polly: You told me to. Yes, but this is New Year's Eve. Get somebody... Get the landlady to take care of it.

She says she has nothing to wear, but David says that if she fixes it with the landlady, he'll look after getting her an outfit.

Cut to two of Merlin's security men picking up everything Polly needs at Merlin & Son, down to the mink coat currently on a mannequin.

She look so chic!

Once they get to the party, Polly shares her nerves and tells him not to leave her.

Polly: I won't know how to talk to these people.

David: Just say no to the men. The girls probably won't talk to you anyway.

Then one of David's friends comes over and notices Polly. "Her name's not David," he tells him, when he'd been staring at her the entire time he was greeting David.

And to take care of Polly's nerves, David's ruse is this: "Hello, I'm sorry we're late. Look, there's no point in my introducing this young lady to you. She's the daughter of a Swedish manufacturer. Just come over. And she doesn't speak one word of English."

Louise sees that David found a date after all and she's not amused.

All of David's friends are smitten by Polly, and they're not going to let a fake language barrier keep them from enjoying her. So when they ask her to dance, they mime dancing, and she accepts because now she doesn't have to talk to any of them.

It keeps happening, to the point that her food has barely been touched and David's sat at the table all evening watching her cut a rug.

Polly finally sits down and puts a noise maker in front of her mouth so that she can talk to David without anyone overhearing.

Polly: Hey. I'm hungry.

David: Well, let's get out of here. I'll get you something to eat.

Polly: I like it here.

David: Then we'll stay.

Polly: But I'm hungry.

David: Then we'll go.

Polly: All right.

They make their excuses and he overenunciates to teach the Swedish Polly how to say Happy New Year, which she does as, "Appy Nuuu Cheah!"

While Polly's getting her things, Louise sidles up to David and says, "She's not bad for a fill-in. Personally, I'd just as soon go stag."

Polly overhears and replies, in perfect English, "You could, too, with those shoulders."

And David...well, he laughs all the way out the door and into Times Square.

Look, Love Affair's playing at the theatre in Bachelor Mother's universe!

Once again, the clip does this sequence better justice than I can:

David walks Polly back to her apartment and gives her another kiss.

"Happy New Year in Chicago," he says. He asks if she wants to stay up to celebrate the new year in Los Angeles, but she tells him it'll be a little too late. He then asks if she wants to go for a drive in the country the next day. "It might be a little too cold for the baby, don't you think?"

Then, like the air let out of a balloon, he remembers that Polly has a baby. Polly says that she and John will be in the park the next day, if he wants to visit. "I'll try and make it but I've got other things to do, you know, this time of year."

Ugh, David.

Polly goes inside and finds Mrs. Weiss sleeping and John wide awake.

Polly: Hey, you wanna know a secret? You promise you won't tell? I think he likes me. Yeah. But I'm afraid he doesn't like you very well, though. Oh, don't get upset about it. Don't get upset about it because nobody could come between you and me. Cause... Cause you're my fella.

The next morning, some random kid delivers a note to J.B. Merlin...

...on Freddie's orders.

And father and son are both sitting in the car now when J.B. opens the note and reads:

Uh oh!

If there's a character type Charles Coburn specialized in, it's overbearing parent, and we're about to see it in full force.

David asks what the note said, but J.B. keeps it secret. Then David stokes further suspicion by hopping out of the car to go for a walk in the park. When J.B. tries to join him, David insists that he doesn't need to and that he'll be walking so fast, it'll be hard to keep up with him.

J.B.: Yes. It is a little difficult to keep up with you.

David caught up with Polly and John at the park just in time for another family to show up and try to one-up them with how smart their own baby is.

Polly: Our doctor says that Junior is a perfect physical specimen. I find if the baby gets gas on his stomach that the best thing is to take some warm oil on a piece of gauze, and rub it into his navel.

The two mothers start talking about walking and talking and making up facts about how early their babies could do it. David tells them that John "can recite the first line from Gunga Din," which is enough for the other set of parents to take off.

Polly: I just asked you to say he could talk.

David: Well, you've come a long way from the girl who wouldn't even admit it was her child. Now you think it's quite a baby.

Polly: You get used to it.

Then, all of a sudden, J.B. shows up and he can't stop staring at John. "Would you mind, if I was very careful, would you let me just hold him for a minute?" he asks Polly.

David's flabbergasted at the sight of his father in the park, and Polly goes along with the old man's request mostly out of shock.

J.B.: I'd know that chin anywhere. What's his name?

Polly: John.

J.B.: John. Thanks for that, anyway.

Polly: Is there something I can do?

J.B.: You've done it.

J.B. leaves, but not before he warns them not to keep the baby out too long in the cold weather...

...and once he leaves, David figures out why his father was so absorbed by the baby.

And he takes off after his father, leaving Polly to realize what they've already realized and John to look up at his 'mother' in bewilderment.

Back at the Merlin house, father and son are about to have it out. They just want to do it out of earshot of the butler, who keeps coming back into the room at the most hilarious moments. Another fun part of this scene is that J.B. keeps throwing his fork off the table and the butler keeps noticing and replacing it whenever he comes in.

J.B.: The dream of my life. A grandson. And now you want to deny me this happiness. Why didn't you...

Butler: Excuse me, sir.

J.B.: So this is the modern generation. So this is the 20th century. Marriage was good enough for your father and mother, bless her. And it's good enough for you, son.

And now we boil down to the main conflict: J.B. wants a grandson and he's not going to let anyone stop him. He'll take John, if he needs to.

J.B.: You're going to marry that girl. You're gonna bring my grandson into this house.

David: Now, I'm gonna tell you something.

J.B.: Now, don't start that with me. You know my temper. Remember what I did to Governor Mead.

David: You haven't any grandson.

J.B.: The least you can do is not to deny it. I saw him with my own eyes. I saw you with that girl.

David: That's not my baby.

J.B.: Don't be a catcher. Besides, I have other information. A letter from... From a friend. But if I hadn't it, if I hadn't seen you with that girl, if I saw that baby on a desert island by itself, I'd know it was my grandson. Why, he looks exactly like me.

David: Oh, Dad, for heaven's sake. You're jumping to conclusions.

J.B.: Now, I'm gonna tell you something. My mind's made up. Nobody's playing around with my grandchild. I'm going to take him. I'll get him if I have to go to the Supreme Court.

David: Will you listen, before your blood pressure goes through the roof...

J.B.: Never mind my blood pressure. You don't know me in a fight.

David: Oh, you're the stubbornest man I ever met in my whole life. I'm going to prove to you that it's not my child.

David heads over to Polly's apartment to tell her what's going on. She's still laughing over J.B. mistaking David for the baby's father, but he quickly douses that spark.

David: This is no laughing matter. Do you know what he's gonna do?

Polly: No.

David: He's gonna take that baby away from you.

Polly: Well, I'd like to see him.

David: You don't know my father. He'll send for lawyers and investigators and things. He'll get the baby away.

Polly: He can't do that. It belongs to me. You've got to stop him.

David: All right. Well, get ahold of this piano player. That'll be a big help.

Polly: Well, I can't do that.

David: But you'll just have to when half a dozen lawyers come round here questioning your fitness to raise the baby.

Polly: Look, take me to your father. Let me talk to him. I can convince him.

David: He won't believe you either. He's out of his mind. He even wants me to marry you. He wants to set me up with a ready-made family just so he can have a grandson. I tell you, this is serious.

Wrong thing to say. He's making it sound like it'd be horrible to marry Polly.

And her feelings are hurt when he leaves...

...and standing outside her door, he's wondering if maybe it wouldn't be awful to marry her and adopt John.

But once he takes off, Polly springs into action. She goes downstairs to Mrs. Weiss's apartment, where she meets the woman's son, Jerome. She tells Mrs. Weiss what's going on and that she needs to take off before J.B. can take the baby. When Polly reiterates that she can't produce the baby's father, Mrs. Weiss has an idea involving Jerome...

...at the same time David tracks down Freddie at his apartment with a similar idea. He tries to get the father's identity out of Freddie, but he genuinely doesn't know who it is, and then is coerced into going along with David's scheme with the promise of being made an assistant floorwalker again.

Butler: There are two people to see you, sir. A Mr and Mrs Weiss.

J.B.: Weiss? Weiss? I don't know any Weiss. Tell them to write a letter.

J.B.'s on the phone with his layer, beckoning him back to New York before he threatens to get another lawyer. He means business! The butler interrupts to say that Mr. and Mrs. Weiss are there to talk about a baby, and suddenly J.B.'s interest is piqued.

Meet Mr. and Mrs. Weiss.

Now there's a normal reaction, J.B.

Polly tells him that she goes by her maiden name at the store, but she's actually Mrs. Weiss. They're stuttering through an explanation when David shows up with Freddie and announces that he's the father. J.B. points this fact out to him...

...and David wheels around to face the abusive piano player he assumes Jerome is.

David: So you finally showed up, huh?

Jerome: I couldn't come any sooner.

David: Pretty cute, wasn't it, running out on her like that?

Jerome: Like what?

David: You're not gonna try to keep this up. Do you know what this is? A coffeepot. You ought to recognise it.

"How do you like that, you piano player?"

But now J.B.'s taking charge again. "You might as well cut all this out. It doesn't convince me. And I'm not through with you, young man. I'm gonna prosecute you. I don't know what for, but I'm gonna prosecute you for something."

While the men are all talking over each other, Polly slips out behind them.

"She's gone!" David notes. "She'll take the baby!" J.B. says.

Back at Polly's apartment, she's trying to make a hasty escape with John. She's leaving everything behind and will send for her things once she's settled in a new place, she just needs to get out before the Merlins take John.

But she's too late in getting into the cab, and the Merlins show up before she can leave. So she hides in Mrs. Weiss's other room while the Merlins give the landlady the third degree.

J.B.: Madam, I want the truth out of you. You're concealing that girl's whereabouts.

Mrs. Weiss: Whereabouts? What is a "whereabout"?

J.B.: Where are you hiding her?

While they try to butter up Mrs. Weiss, Polly tries to sneak back upstairs with John (for whatever reason, instead of going out a back door to the street).

But John drops his new toy...

...which, thanks to David, works properly...

...meaning once it's righted on the floor, it marches straight into Mrs. Weiss's apartment and alerts David to Polly's presence.

David tears up the stairs and straight into Polly's apartment. She's in full mama bear mode. "You're not going to take this baby. I've stood enough."

David: Please listen. I'm not trying to take your baby away. You see, I started out thinking that I only wanted to help you. And then a while ago, when I thought you'd gone away, I realised I was in love with you. So, will you please marry me? Hmm?