Heists I'd Commit with Simon Dermott from HOW TO STEAL A MILLION
Happy Birthday Peter O'Toole!
In his storied career, Peter gave iconic performances in films like Laurence of Arabia, The Lion in Winter, and My Favorite Year but honestly, my favourite film of his is How to Steal a Million where he plays the charming, dashing, intelligent forgery detector turned cat burglar opposite Audrey Hepburn.
He's fun and charismatic and pulls off an impossible heist in getting the faked Cellini Venus back into Audrey's fretful hands, and since I love this movie so much and want to honour Peter on what would have been his 91st birthday, I'm thinking about some heists today.
Here is a not totally complete list of heists I'd commit with Simon Dermott from How to Steal a Million:
1. We break into the Magic Kingdom under the cloak of darkness to stay a night in the exclusive Cinderella Castle Suite, which is impossible to stay in. We sneak in dressed as characters, shuffle to the sidelines as the park closes for the night, and then break into the Cinderella Castle Suite once the park's closed.
2. We want to figure out how they actually get the caramel inside Caramilk bars so we assume fake identities and get jobs on the production line, wait until dark (eh, eh?) and plan a heist in the machine room where the sausage—or the Caramilk is made.
3. We want the secret recipe for King of Donair's donair sauce. Rather than take the time to get jobs there, build up trust over a period of time and then get gifted with the knowledge, we break into the Food Network Canada offices, find the tapes from the 'You Gotta Eat Here' episode filmed at King of Donair and study the details so we can figure out what's inside. Much quicker.
4. We want to steal the Tiffany diamond because I want to be the fifth woman in the world to wear it (following Mary Whitehouse, Audrey Hepburn, Lady Gaga and Beyoncé). We take the faux Tiffany diamond created for the movie Death on the Nile, get into the flagship Tiffany & Co. store and go from there. It'd probably involve costumes and smashing and running.
5. Nous irons à Monte Carlo, or more precisely, Monaco-ville, to the Prince's Palace and find Grace Kelly's Oscar from 1954. Conversely, we wait until the Grace Kelly exhibit goes on tour again and pick one of the museums that seems like its security wouldn't be as up to snuff and then re-create the Cellini Venus heist again.
(Also inserting a brag in here that I've seen Grace Kelly's Oscar in person at an exhibit in Montreal and it was a top five moment in my life.)
What heists would you commit with Simon Dermott?
I'm too much of a chicken (I mean, upstanding citizen) to ever commit a heist, but I sure did enjoy reading your ideas! And I learned what a donair is, so -- bonus!!
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